It's very cold. [20 Dec 2009|03:00am] playt3x I miss being hallowed the time to ventilate in here. I feel terribly disconnected from everything, as always. The daily travail is a lecherous Cyprian, who spits her promises from nervous lips. A juiceless bore, crossing your initials off a lengthy scroll once you are drained. To entertain this fleeting freedom is both blessing and curse. The drawing of a thick curtain for winter break allows me to skip off the stage to reflect once more on the absurdity of the world I've concocted for myself. I can now begin to entertain myself with imaginations of iniquity and nefarious activity. And although I hear no audible voices in my head, I am constantly torn in numerous directions in an evolving conflict between opposing ideals. It would feel so liberating to disconnect from this environment and truly reach a higher conscienceless. To lay the items I carry upon my desk drawer before I exit the house in the New Year with a forthright resolution. To walk down life row, knowing exactly where I am headed and the distance it will take to travel there. The pen with which I neatly scrawl the names of the people marked for pecuniary victimisation. The diary that has 11 frigidly vacuous days to fill. The phone with which I ignore telephone calls but from one person...(Perhaps I'll take the phone). My wallet that succinctly sums up my achievements on this earth; for what am I worth but the balance on my bank account? I'll reach into the top drawer to grab a pistol. And then walk out into the wilderness. 1 waster pissed it all up the wall

[08 Dec 2009|12:35am] _reflectingpool i have wellington fever! will update soon + i saw pugs ee pissed it all up the wall

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